Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
