I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
