So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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