I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
