Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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