im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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