He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
