My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Can Purell be used as lube?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
