feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
