...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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