eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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