so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
