Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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