Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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