Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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