If that was your dad, he is hot
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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