I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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