What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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