We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
