the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
