she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
