girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
