She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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