Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
