And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
