I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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