You just made me feel so damn special
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
