This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's just like the Real World with babies
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
