so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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