They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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