im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
