Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
