i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
