chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
