At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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