very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
