I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
