that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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