i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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