my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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