In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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