Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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