May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
