Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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