Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
