i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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