i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
A bitchslap is in order.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
