What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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