I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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