North Korea, Best Korea!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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